Lose and Reclaim

“You’re worried about legacy,
But you don’t know its meaning.
You kill your soul trying to make one,
Lose yourself by being somebody else.”

That is how I ended Lost, a poem I wrote in October 2015 about losing a part of yourself to create a so-called legacy.

It is difficult to hold on to every part of yourself as you ride the roller coaster called life.

Experiences, consequences, and sometimes even the simplest of realizations can make you lose a part of yourself.

Going through a bad experience, especially traumatic ones, could easily make you lose a lot. You stop doing some things because you don’t want to go through a bad experience again.

People not appreciating what you are and the society telling you what’s wrong and what’s right make you lose a part of yourself to find a new piece, whether it fits or not, just to please them.

When you lose someone in your life, a part of your self would sometimes follow that person.

Sometimes, you want to change so badly that you completely lose everything about yourself, both the positives and the negatives.

Those are just some of the many reasons why you lose a part of yourself. It is true that sometimes, it’s because of the idea that losing a part of yourself can make you a better person. Although the intention is to better something, whether it’s your perspective of yourself or the society’s perspective towards you, losing a piece of yourself could have a very huge impact on how you will make decisions in the future.

As I have mentioned in my poem, there are times when you try to create a legacy that you just lose a part of yourself in the process, but creating a legacy should never be about losing a part of yourself. It should be about being true to who you are, and using that truth to inspire others to stay true to who they are in their journey to become their own legend.

This isn’t just an entry about being true to yourself, it’s about reclaiming what you lost to be yourself again. I have lost parts of my soul in the past, and my goal now is to find all those pieces.

The worst experiences can definitely knock you down, but if you find the strength to stand up again, you will become more resilient. With a strengthened mindset, you will find a way to reconnect with the parts that you’ve lost.

The perfect example for having a strengthened mindset is what you do with your life after a break-up. I have been through a handful of break-ups, and most people would think that you lose a lot trying to become better after a break-up – that’s not always true, because sometimes, you lose more of yourself during the relationship.

After all those break-ups, I decided to take my time. I have been single for more than a year now, and as I have mentioned in a previous entry (The Perks of Singlehood), I have learned to love and appreciate myself, and that is by reconnecting with all the pieces of my soul I have lost.

The process is not as difficult as it seems, and this simple guide I will provide will definitely help.

How to Reclaim Yourself

Stop Denying That You Lost a Part of Yourself

The first process is always getting over the denial that you lost something. Once you acknowledge the fact that you changed because it just had to happen, it will be easier to know what it is that you’ve lost.

Know What’s Lost

Knowing what part of yourself is lot is definitely going to help you know what to reclaim. What are the things that you stopped doing? Assessing the things you’ve changed, if they make you feel good or bad about yourself, is also going to help.

Strengthen Your Mind

A traumatic experience should never break you, it should make you resilient. By using what you perceive as weakness at the lowest moments of your life that forced you to lose a part of yourself, you will be able to find the strength to reclaim what you’ve lost, and really move on from those bad experiences. It’s a little difficult, but once you get through it, you will be able to reclaim the missing parts of yourself a lot easier.

Make it Better

When you find something important that you’ve lost in the past, you treat it with extra care so you won’t lose it again. Once you’ve reclaimed whatever it is that was missing, the best way to take extra care of it is by improving it. This process will really help you own what you really have proudly.

At the end of the day, whether you lost a part of yourself because of a bad experience or because the society told you to do so, it’s always about making peace with yourself. Finding that so-called inner peace is going to help you accept who you truly are, with confidence and self-respect.


Every Wednesday, I’ll be posting essays about life. Got any questions? Click here.

Header Image: Paul Mood via InspiringWallpapers.net (Original)

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