The Perks of Singlehood

Being single is a really difficult thing, and to some, it is considered a bad thing because there is this thought that the reason for it is because there may be something wrong with you.

I have been single for over a year now, in fact, I remember my last break up was on the 16th of October, 2015. It is something that I am truly proud of because after I came out of the closet, I found it difficult for me to stay single.

Over the previous year of being single, I did meet some guys, and things could have escalated at a different level had I not controlled myself. I think it only took a while for me to realize after my previous relationship that the best thing to do was to stay single so I could find myself and something inside of me that I seemed to have lost because of all the people who came into my life who took it piece by piece.

As I go through the course of my singlehood, I am learning a lot of things. There are cons, and sometimes, it feels like the worst days of my life; but then there are the pros, the positives which seem to always outweigh the negatives making me realize that I should make the best out of it, and with that, it started to feel like the best days of my life.

A lot of us have been through the process of feeling lost after a break-up, and for me, it was the break-up last year that made me realize that I don’t fully know myself. I used to always feel worthless unless someone validates me as someone who is worth something, but being single taught me that I do not need anybody to validate who I am and what I could be.

There is definitely more to life than just being in a relationship, and that is also something that I am continuing to explore. I was given a new perspective in life that made me discover a lot of things that I would not have discovered had I decided to not take this time off for myself. I started reconnecting with myself, and I learned how to love and appreciate myself again.

With my self-appreciation in check, I also learned how to not take anyone or anything for granted. The more I learned about myself, the more I want to enjoy every moment of being single, and value other people without the pressure of being in a relationship. I was more open to making new friends without expectations of taking it anywhere else, and It was certainly more pleasant than having to get to know someone just for the sake of being romantically inclined with them.

I learned how to love more as a single person than when I was in a relationship. It made me realize that love is not something that you can only have in your system when you’re in a relationship as it is always a part of your system.

Loneliness is something that I didn’t want in my system. With all the relationships that I have been through, I realized that whether you’re single or in a relationship, you would feel loneliness, and sometimes, you even ask for it. I was always an introverted person, and the process of reconnecting with myself may have helped me appreciate the solitude.

Being single made me open myself up to the world more. I became more involved with the world, and it made me understand the real issues that we should be worried about. It made me realize that relationships could often lead to obsession, and obsession could often lead to a false perspective. It helped me become more aware of my surroundings, and myself.

I didn’t write this entry to discourage anyone from being in a relationship again, instead, I’m here to encourage all the single people out there to not be hopeless for being one, and to enjoy every moment of their singlehood. Always remember that there is always someone out there for you, and they will come into your life unexpectedly, so there is no need to rush.

Every Wednesday, I’ll be posting essays about life. Got any questions? Click here.

Header Image: Paul Mood via (Original)

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