There comes a time in our lives when we all have to make decisions. Those decisions may be kept in our private sense, but there is nothing better than the freedom from all the crisis that we keep within ourselves. Before you continue reading, I want you to ask yourselves: What is your gender identity? What is your sexual orientation?
Now, before we go to the major point of this entry, let me get one thing straight, I am not.
Our sexual orientation, whether we are homo, hetero, bi, or none of those options, is our truth. It is something that we must not deny to ourselves, especially if it is something that really affects the way we handle things. It is something that the society or anybody in this world could never take away from us.
Most of you, without a doubt, fear the world outside of the closet. It is true that once you make a decision, you do not always get a second chance, so you have to find a way to make the right ones as best as you can. Indeed, a lot of thinking and consideration has to be made before you open that door, and make your way out of the closet.
Life outside the closet, for some, may be as miserable as the life inside the closet. But imagine the difference you can make for yourself if you’re not alone when it comes to facing the misery. Inside the closet, you’re alone. Outside the closet, you have a partner, a friend, a family member, or someone who is going through the same thing who would understand, and help you get through it.
Based on my experience and observations, people who are out are happier than those who are in denial. Denial is indeed a phase. It is the most crucial and saddest phase because people, including some of your friends, will talk about you and your denial behind your back. Some people are afraid to ask, but they already might know, and there’s a chance that they would rather let you be, than make you feel uncomfortable talking about it.
Denial is something that would either make you miserable for the rest of your life, or make you realize the pain of it, and give you an epiphany. I’m not saying that denial is a bad thing, but it is important to know that denial is way different from being confused. People in denial know what they want, but won’t admit it, while confused people do not know what they want to be, and who they really want.
Bisexuals are considered confused by most. They’re not. Bisexuals are called bisexuals for a reason; they are attracted to both men and women, and they are sure about their attraction to both. Bisexuals are usually criticized for this, and they shouldn’t be, especially by homosexuals, because just like us, they are just also expressing their sexuality.
Some people would roll their eyes on people who come out because they think that we’re making a big deal out of it. Well, for us, it is a big deal. It something that most of us are afraid to do, and to have the courage to actually do it is a really big deal.
Life may not be all about sexuality, but coming to terms with your own is going to help you live a happier life. It is not about how people treat you just because of it; it is about how and why you live life for yourself, and the people around you.
To the people who don’t have to come out of the closet for their sexuality, supporting their rights does not make you gay, and condemning their lifestyle is not going to take you anywhere.
Life inside the closet is dark, constrained, and sorrowful. Step out of yours and have a brave, proud, genuine life.
This is a rewritten version of an Opinion article I wrote in 2013 for our university magazine, The Pioneer’s Gigit.
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