Defeat. Dissatisfaction. Wrong Decisions. Low self-esteem. Fear. These are the ingredients to make the most bitter slices of your life, SELF-DOUBT.
Self-doubt has demolished the foundation that I have been building for my future multiple times. It comes and goes, and as much as possible, I do my best to beat it. If you have experienced the same thing, then keep reading, because I’ll be listing down some of the things that we all need to realize when it comes to self-doubt, not based on a psychologist’s point of view, but based on my own knowledge and experience.
Self-confidence is the complete opposite of self-doubt, and as a person with multiple personality, I tend to forget one of the two, and most of the time, it is self-confidence. Why do I forget about it? Maybe because I see a massive number of people better than me? Maybe because someone told me that I am not good enough? Or is it just because I have experienced defeat? I don’t think so, but I think it is very interesting to talk about these things.
Self-doubt line number one, “Am I good enough?” I have asked myself this question multiple times, and I really regret asking it. There are times when people ask me this question, and because it annoys me, I’ll answer them with another question: “Do you think you are good enough? If you think you aren’t, maybe it’s time for an upgrade.”
I can’t really sympathize with people who ask that question because they see other people with superior talents. I’m a writer, and I see better writers than me. That doesn’t stop me from writing, but it pushes me to do my best, not to be better than others, but to fight the uncertainty within me.
Self-doubt line number two, “I was not able to impress them.” This is a line that we never want to say, but because of the society, we may hear ourselves say this a little too often. When I speak of the society, I don’t exclude myself, because I have to be honest that I have judged a lot of people.
Here’s another example, a teacher who is not impressed with your presentation. But have you asked these things to yourself? “Was I ever listening to that teacher?” or “Did that teacher ever teach me anything for me to become impressive?”
Writing this column, I thought to myself that I may hear myself say line number two in the future. That didn’t stop me from writing, but it challenged me to have faith within myself. I have written this not to impress, but to express my opinion.
Self-doubt line number three, “I will surely be a loser in this.” This line is like saying everything you do is deemed to fail, and it is usually yelled not by intuition, but by fear. Having faith in defeat is like not having faith at all.
Just like the exaggeration of line number three, we also tend to exaggerate the perception that people have about us. Maybe that is also the reason why we feel that we can never win. We expect people to have high expectations, and we tend to negatively looking for a way out.
The things I listed above may have caused me a lot of incertitude in the past, but ever since I started having faith in myself, they are actually the things that push me to work harder so that I’ll become a better person. If I can do that, maybe you can too, BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.
Every Friday, I am supposed to post short stories and poetry that will hit you right in the feels, hence Friday Feels. This week, I decided to do a different FF, which is Flashback Friday. I was a little irresponsible, and I forgot to write a piece, so I looked through my archives and found this write-up from 2013. Want to send a contribution? Click here.