The end of a relationship that you thought was going to last forever, especially with someone you thought was “the one,” is a very difficult thing to handle. The phase of moving on is like being stuck in a really grueling History class, except this time, you actually give in to crying. Yes, I know these things because I have been through a lot of relationships.
In my experience, every time these relationships end, I always learn something new. I’m not announcing that to the world as if it’s a badge of glory that I proudly wear on my sleeve, but at the same time, it is something that I am certainly not ashamed of. These lessons are sort of stored in my memory, and whenever I feel stuck in the ‘moving on’ phase, I just access them to remind myself that in the end, I will be victorious.
Side note: We all have different ways of moving on, but I would like to share the things I learned about the process of moving on. No need to roll your eyes and stress yourself while reading this if you think it’s not helping you.
Based on my experience, the most important step in moving on is to accept that the relationship has ended. This is sort of the closure that you grant to yourself in order to really start the process of moving on. This may be difficult, but once it’s achieved, the rest is easy.
Having a mindset that there’s no loss after a breakup is a little tough to achieve, so you have to distract yourself with the things you used to do before you got into that relationship. Knowing within yourself that you will have more “me-time” is definitely going to help you rediscover the things that you had to give up, if any, and also explore amazing new things beyond the horizon of the things that you’re used to.
There is no need to rush the phase of moving on, because rushing things will only give you the false assumption that you have completely moved on. Taking time to process the heartbreak will take away that bitter feeling. Crying, and remembering all the good and bad memories are very therapeutic, and a very powerful healing methods.
Removing all the physical things that might remind you of the relationship or the other person is also very helpful. Having the self-control to not check the other person’s social media accounts is important, but blocking, unfollowing, or unfriending them is not necessary.
You need to ask yourself: What changed when you got into the relationship, and what changed when the relationship came to an end? When you find the answers, make yourself realize how you’re better off without the other person. You don’t essentially have to develop a feeling of hatred towards the other person, you just have to reflect on the things that affected you negatively because of being of that relationship.
It’s also important to not be in a relationship with someone if you haven’t fully moved on from the other person, as rushing into a new relationship would only make the process of moving on more exhausting. Knowing that there isn’t always a “true love” or “the one” for everyone is going to help you realize that the relationship was meant to end as there is something – not always someone – else better waiting for you.
Once all of the things mentioned above are accomplished, you’re ready to fall in love, again, with other people, and with yourself. Always remember that having an ample amount of love for yourself is going to give you the ability to know what and who you truly deserve.
I can count the number of times I have ever ended the relationship with someone, because I am the type of person who doesn’t like to give up on someone over something that could be fixed. It’s usually the other side that ends the relationship, and I actually prefer this because it is easier to move on for me.
Want to share the story of how you have moved on from a relationship that you thought was going to last forever? Tell us in the comments below!
Every Wednesday, I’ll be posting essays about life. Got any questions? Click here.